It’s Me Time: A Me Season, A Me Year
@hooraemedia 💞 The premiere of #BarbieTheMovie was a dream! Out in theaters July 21st. #IssaRae #Motivation #MirrorMotivation #PresidentBarbie ♬ original sound - HOORAE Media
“Let’s see listen girl. It’s only up from here baby. Let me tell you that right now. It was ‘Me Season’ and it’s about to be a ‘Me Year’ right.”
This weekend brought me some much-needed Me time, where I got to be along with myself. I hadn’t really planned it, but it just so happened that I had booked a brief work trip that left me alone.
At first considered using the time to catch up on work or finally do some things on my ever-growing to-do list. However, what I decided to do instead was declare the moment and opportunity for Me time that would allow me to just “Be”, present in the moment, without trying to fade it or fix it or force it.
As much as I teach the Pause, sometimes stepping into the Pause, is difficult for me to muster. I know from my research and reading, shouts out to Trisha Hershey of the Nap Ministries and Ressma Mankeem of Grandmothers Hand, that my slowing down is hard because of my systemic hardwiring and my family’s generational trauma as a descendant of enslaved Africans.
Yet, I had a hunch that Pausing and just “Being” was what I needed to take advantage of during my alone time.
So here I was, thinking hard about relaxing..(lol). To shift the pressure, I gave myself permission to ease up a bit by taking a few deep breaths. Yes, for me it always begins with a breath because it reminds me that I am indeed alive and present in this moment.
Then to satisfy my busy EGO, I gave myself permission to write down all of the tasks I thought I was going to forget in the next few hours (Ego is a trip). Then I asked my internal wise self a simple question, “What do I need right now?” and I got the answer quickly, “food’.
With that response received loud and clear, I engaged my wise self again and asked, “What do I want to eat for dinner?” I thought this next response would come as quickly, but I found myself distracted, dipping into a blank spot. A part of me thought “it’s just food”, however I was wrong. I had been deciding in “we” for so long after being partnered for 15 years that I almost instinctively decided from a mental sorting of our collective dietary restrictions.
But tonight was different it was all about Me. I smiled and suddenly all of the potential food options opened up. When I got the answer, I was surprised— I just wanted a salmon salad in the comfort of my room. Not an elaborate dinner, not a cheesesteak (my splurge cheat meal), but something healthy and tasty. Who knew?! Once I placed my order via Uber Eats (shouts out to food delivery), I suddenly realized how tired I truly was; how much I needed time to just rest and catch up with Me in this moment.
After an early dinner and a quick nap, I woke up at 11 PM like a new woman. I was filled with so much joy, it felt like giggle bubbles. I would normally force myself back to sleep to prepare for the next day. However, I asked my internal wise self, “What do you want to do next?” The answer surprised me as much as the food question, my Wise Self wanted a bubble bath. A bath at 11 PM? I had to fight the parental part of myself that said it was too late, but after a 3-minute internal battle, I started running the water. I even added a bit of shampoo for bubbles. The bubbling tub felt like memories of bath time at my Grandma’s (Mother) house, which brought me even more joy. When I emerged an hour later shriveled like a prune, I felt relieved like I just had a 90-minute massage.
I thought I would be tired, but I was just getting started when I asked myself the same question a third time, “What do you want to do next?”. The response was lightning fast, I could tell that I was really getting in tune with my wise self because it felt clear, powerful, and grounded. What I wanted was to write, so I broke out my laptop and just started free-flowing.
I was able to let out dreams, goals, plans, solutions, questions, and more because I gave myself permission to just flow. When slowing down, I peeked at the clock at it was 3 AM. I felt myself yawn and knew the next step was bed. But wow, did I feel good! Before dozing off, I scheduled another Me session for the following Friday in my calendar. I felt pleased and giddy knowing that I could look forward to spending more much-needed time with Me!
Here are a couple of tips that I learned during my “Me Time” that I wanted to share in support of your upcoming Me Time.
Acknowledge that you are carving out Me Time just to be alone with yourself. Build it into your schedule and make sure to follow through. Say something as simple as “This Wednesday evening is all about Me”. Saying it out loud, even to yourself, helps. Telling accountability partners will take it a step further because they can remind and support you to make it happen.
Give yourself permission to intentionally begin your Me time when scheduled. As you begin, close out any last doings. Write down a to-do list, tell yourself “I’m not doing anything from my ‘should list’ during this time”, etc.
Take a few deep beaths and quiet any internal voices in opposition of you taking time for yourself. We all have internal parts that want to keep us managed and doing, but during your Me time, ignore them.
Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” and listen inward for a response from your internal Wise Self. Allow yourself not to grow impatient if the answer is not immediate.
Grant your own wish, which means stepping into action to do whatever your internal Wise Self asked for during the prior step. Even if it’s a modified version, just do it. So maybe you can’t go to Paris, but you could watch a French movie and eat a baguette, or you could look up France online and plan a trip.
Ask yourself a few more times, “What do I want?” or “What do I need?” or “What do I want to do?”, and grant your own wishes each time.
Pause at the end of your planned Me Time and reflect on your lessons learned. Notice what’s different, how you feel, and ask what the messages are for you. You may want to journal or just be still to sit with this newfound knowledge.
Plan your next “Me Time”. As Issa Rae says, “It’s a “Me Year!”
